Looking back

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember you have within you the strength, the patience and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world” – Harriet Tubman.

Not long ago, I desired to make a difference in the world. I had all reasons listed down to believe in myself as the person that would at one day be responsible for a certain amount of impact being created into our world. My CV personal statement would always have statements like “Setting a new standard for the world of digital communications”, “Living a life that will leave a scientific difference to the planets” and much alike. I would always visualize a story being written in my name.

When I was 4 years old, my Dad took me to a boarding school to start my education and I will live to remember the journey. Many things happened in my life especially the fact that I was starting my education life. I recall moments when I would give up my only cup of morning porridge to our class-monitor (who happened to be in the day section) in exchange of English newspapers. I didn’t have a clear idea of what stories or experiences I was learning by reading the various pieces mentioned therein. All I know is that I always used the newspapers to argue with my friends whenever it came to time for playing “English spelling” game where I would argue with my siblings to see who knows complicated English word spellings. Life evolved so much during those days that by the time I left the nursery boarding section, I was prepared to see life in its different dimensions.

Did this ever happen?

By the time I went for my university  I loved doing everything that my mind would perceive as good and before I knew it, I had developed within myself an attitude that I cannot fail on anything, a belief that I can solve any challenge I meet, a thought that I would always be the person to solve the difficulties that I come along. I started dreaming of a life where by I would be one of the scientists making new concepts to move by, I thought of the kind of job to fit me and in my descriptions I would always see a life where I am unlimited with rules and limitations. I literally wanted to take a journey where my brain would be my only limitation into thinking what I could do for the generations around me.

Later on I started throwing my dreams into the sky and truth be told, the experience was never an enjoyable one. To begin with, I knew I could control my destiny by setting in motion the process of the person the person I wanted to be. This would be a desirable moment for the life I had envisioned for myself especially the fact that I did it with a mind of rewarding whatever thoughts that were on my parents’ minds when they gave me the name “Turyabagye”.  

Have I lived to fulfill the meaning of my name?”. I still ask myself the same question year after year. The world is watching, and God is dealing with me every new day. Just as the scripture states it in Gen 28:15, “What’s more, I am with you, and I will protect you wherever you go. One day I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have finished giving you everything I have promised you.”